


Save me

by Sugakookies14753



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fucked Up, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements, Separation Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-09-30 13:45:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10164284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sugakookies14753/pseuds/Sugakookies14753
Summary: My first work in about 2 yearsgo easy on me guys ik its written badly :/





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first work in about 2 years
> 
> go easy on me guys ik its written badly :/

“Jungkook-ah.” Namjoon said with concern in his voice, wavering a little. He was looking at Jungkook’s arms.

Jungkook pulled his arms away quickly, covering them back up with the sleeves of his shirt, his face written with guilt.

“Don't worry hyung.” Jungkook said with a bright smile on his face.

“How can I not worry, Kookie?” Namjoon said with a look on his face, something between concern and almost… pity? Jungkook couldn't seem to read Namjoon’s face.

“Jungkookie…” Namjoon said voice still wavering with concern.

Jungkook hated that… He hated being called ‘Jungkookie'. Tears started welling in his eyes, he forced them back though, not wanting to look weak in front of his hyung. But he couldn't keep them back anymore, tears streaming down his face. Namjoon just sat there, offering his shoulder to Jungkook for him to cry on, consoling him. They’d sat there like that for a while, not caring if they’d be late to their classes or not.

Namjoon sat there, thinking back to what he’d seen-- cuts and scars all up and down Jungkook’s arms, blood dripping down his arms and onto the floor. Namjoon sat there, holding Jungkook in his warm embrace, hugging him tightly.

They fell asleep like that, Namjoon’s arms wrapped around Jungkook. The warmth of each lulling the other to sleep. Namjoon woke, dazed and confused as to why the room was so cold, so void of warmth. It was then that he realized that Jungkook was nowhere to be found. Worried, Namjoon got out of bed only to notice that his bedroom door was open, he knew that he had closed the door. Confused, he went through the bedroom door only to find the front door unlocked and slightly opened.

“Huh… weird.” Namjoon said to himself, “Jungkook always makes sure to close and lock the door if he goes somewhere…” Namjoon went to shut and lock the door when he realized that he was alone in the house.

A wave of panic washed over Namjoon. Where was his roommate? What was he doing? Is he ok? Namjoon felt his palms starting to get sweaty, his body tensing up. His heart pounding loudly in his chest, beating faster and faster. His worries growing into a full on panic, he needed to know if his friend was ok.

Namjoon didn't want to be alone. He hated being alone. When he was alone, he felt the most vulnerable. Namjoon slid down the wall, his knees against his chest; trying to make himself as small as possible. Comforting himself as best he could. He started running his fingers through his hair. He sat there for what seemed like hours, wavering in and out of consciousness, until he eventually passed out. When Jungkook finally came home, it was late. Jungkook looked at his phone, checking the time. It read ‘01:45.’

“Damn…” Jungkook said, “I didn't mean to stay out that late.” Trying to sneak into his shared room. Once he’d entered the room, the scent of alcohol and cigarettes filled the small room. Worried his roommate would smell it on him, he headed to the bathroom to take a shower. Jungkook turned the water on hastily, nervous that the sound would wake his hyung. Namjoon being the heavy sleeper he is though, he didn't. Jungkook sat in the shower, knees hugged tightly to his chest, sobbing. Jungkook hated himself, he had left without reservation, knowing full well of the state it would leave Namjoon in. Jungkook left only thinking of himself, even though he knew Namjoon would do anything for him. He was so selfish, only thinking of himself, he really hated that about himself. When Jungkook had finished washing himself, he got dressed. Underwear first, then his pants and finally a shirt. He made his way to the kitchen when he saw Namjoon hunched over against the wall.

“Hyung, hyung are you awake?” Jungkook asked, Namjoon snoring lightly. “Aish, this guy.” Jungkook sighed. Picking Namjoon up, Jungkook carried Namjoon to their shared room. Jungkook didn't get much sleep that night, too worried about his hyung. Jungkook checked up on him every 20 or so minutes, going out to smoke a cigarette every now and then.

“It's finally morning.” Jungkook sighed out.

Jungkook let out a big sigh. “Ah,” Jungkook let out another big sigh, “Aish, I wonder when Namjoon hyung will wake up.” “Aigo,” Jungkook said with a long, raspy sigh, “this guy.”

Jungkook spent three next couple of hours waiting for his hyung to wake up, it felt like he'd been waiting for hours when Namjoon finally got out of bed.

“Jungkook…” Namjoon started, “where were you last night? I was worried sick about you…”

“I was out with some friends, hyung,” Jungkook started, “ having a good time.”

“Aigo,” Namjoon started, “I was worried sick about you. Yoy know how I can get when I'm home alone Kookie…”

“I know, hyung,” Jungkook started, “I should have at least told you that I was going out, that way you would have known where I was. I'm sorry hyung, I'll tell you when I go out next time.

Jungkook did this a lot, going out without telling his hyung that he was leaving, because he didn't want to make his hyung worry. Jungkook hated being a burden to his hyung, and Jungkook knew that's exactly what Jungkook was when he told Namjoon that he was going out. Jungkook hated making his hyung worry so much, it was unnecessary, but Jungkook couldn't help it, he knew his hyung would worry either way, Namjoon bring the worrisome hyung that he is. There was a silence in the air. The two had not spoken in what felt like 10 minutes, fear of what the other might say holding their words back.

“Kookie…” Namjoon trailed, “I want you to get help… I know you don't want ti be like this, i can see it in your eyes. I just… I can't stand to see you like this anymore… It breaks my heart to see you like this…”

Jungkook froze. He didn't know what to say. Were the words his hyung saying really coming out of his mouth? Jungkook didn't know, his thoughts were telling him that this was a dream, that he would soon wake up next to his hyung. But this was reality, Namjoon had really said that, the realization had snapped Jungkook back to reality, and his world came crashing down with this realization.

“I… I don't… know, hyung, I'm scared.” Jungkook barely managed to croak out, tears welling up in his eyes. “I don't want to, not without you, hyung.” Jungkook said, voice stifling from the tears, now streaming down his face.

“Of course, I'll be right there with you, Kookie,” Namjoon started, “every step of the way, I promise.”

“Okay hyung.” Jungkook said nervously, his anxiety apparent.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a lie, it had to be a lie. There's no way this was actually happening, right?

Jungkook still couldn't tell if this was a nightmare or not, if this was reality or not. He couldn't figure it out, couldn't bear to figure it out. If this was real, he didn't want it to be. He just wanted to be next to his best friend, his hyung, the person who had always been there for him. However, Jungkook was snapped back to reality when he and Namjoon stepped up to the doors. Those doors. Those big, wooden doors look almost too heavy to be made of wood, they were massive in front of Jungkook, at least twice his height. They made him feel so small, so worthless. Jungkook was snapped back to reality once again as Namjoon kept calling his name out, hoping the dongseng would finally come back to him. Those doors looked so big and heavy, too heavy, but they were indeed wooden doors.

As Jungkook opened those big, wooden doors, he was surprised to find that they were just as heavy as they looked. He opened those doors to reveal an empty, spacious room. Almost too empty for a room of its size. There were chairs of various shapes and sized scattered around the room, it looked so odd, with so many different chairs arranged as if this were some exercise at a school, these chairs were scattered around the room in a circular fashion, other members of his support group sitting in them.

“Hello Jungkook.” Jae Bum called out to him. Jungkook’s eyes widened, anxiety taking over. Not even five minutes. Not even five minutes and someone had already called out his name like they knew him or something. Jungkook couldn't take this, he didn't want to be here, he just wanted to see his hyung once again. He wanted his hyung to make everything better, the way only he could. It was too much for him, he couldn't take this anymore, heart beat growing more and more rapid, breathing getting more and more unsteady, he was in a panic. Jungkook hated dealing with strangers, it gave him too much to deal with, right now, all he wanted to do was go home.

“Hello.” Jungkook had managed to say, heart still beating rapidly in his chest.

“Please, take a seat.” The same low, raspy voice of Jae Bum commanded. Jungkook didn't want to, but he was in no position to refuse, he had promised his hyung that he would go.

Not wanting to come off too awkward, he chose his spot, a comfy little chair in the corner, away from everyone else. The group went around, talking about their days, mostly. Jungkook didn't really know, he wasn't really paying attention, he was preoccupied, trying desperately not to have a panic attack. Jungkook heard bits and pieces of what everyone was saying, but still not paying much attention. That is, until a kid named Jung Hoseok started talking. There was something… different about Hoseok. Not to mention he was pretty good looking, too. With his beautiful strawberry blonde hair, gorgeous high cheekbones, and adorable smile, Jungkook didn't mind looking at him. Jungkook didn't know what it was about Hoseok, but he felt that he could trust Hoseok. Before Jungkook knew it, Hoseok had finished talking and now it was Jungkook’s turn. The room filled with silence as he realized, a little too late, that it was his turn. The atmosphere in the room had changed, all eyes were on him. A rush of anxiety ran over him, the general mood changing from laid back to intense.

“Jungkook…” Jae Bum started, “Do you have anything to share with us?” “No, no I don't.” Jungkook barely squeezed out of his throat, voice soft spoken. He hated this attention, it was unnecessary. “Ok.” Jae Bum said. The rest of the support group's time was spent talking amongst each other, all except for Jungkook, who was still sitting in the corner, seemingly staring off into space. He wasn’t though, he knew he was being very obvious, but either Hoseok didn't notice, or he didn't mind that Jungkook was staring at him. Then Jungkook saw Hoseok get up. Oh god, what is he doing? Why is he walking over to me? What is he going to say? What is he going to ask me? All these thoughts were scrambled in Jungkook’s mind. Then, before Jungkook knew it, Hoseok had sat down next to him. Oh god. What is he doing.

“Hey.” Hoseok said, a bright smile on his face. “Hi.” Jungkook said, voice almost outspoken. Jungkook was uncomfortable, he didn't want to be here, talking with this person. He’d much rather be at home reading a book or something. “...Hello?” Hoseok asked a lost Jungkook as he winced his eyes. “Were you even listening to me Jungkook?” Hoseok asked, somewhat amused. “Let's start over, then.” Hoseok said, a smile on his face. “Jungkook, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out or something, maybe go get food?” Hoseok asked, almost nervously. “Sure, Hoseok- hyung, sounds like fun.” Jungkook said with a bright little smile on his face. “You can just call me Hoseok, Jungkook, we are about the same age.” Hoseok said, Jungkook nodding in agreement. Jungkook was 19, and Hoseok was 20, si Jungkook had no real cause for disagreement. “Ok,” Hoseok started, “So tomorrow then?” He asked, Jungkook nodding in agreement. “Ok, then” Hoseok started, “I'll pick you up after your last class, if that's ok., Hoseok said, “What time does your class get out?” He asked. “My last class gets out at 3,” Jungkook said, “At the university.” “Haha I figured,” Hoseok started, “ see you at 3 then.”

Before Jungkook knew it, group was over; he could finally leave. He could go to his hyung, finally go home. He had so much to tell his hyung. He had so much to say about Hoseok, how he was going ti hang out with him after school tomorrow. Jungkook rushed to the door, to his hyung; to Namjoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~UPDATE 2~~~  
> I've decided to bring this fic back! Right now, I'm planning for chapter 3, and I want to make it long, so it's probably going to be a while before I have the new chapter up. I hope you guys don't mind waiting for it, as I have a lot of work for myself with this

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure when ill update, i want to make the following chapters large, like anywhere from 5-10 k words. I'll try to have a new chapter out every 2 weeks to a month, but i can't make any promises ><
> 
> Also, the title is still a wip, so it may change in the future :P
> 
> ***UPDATE ***  
> I haven't written anything for this in a while, and honestly, I feel kinda burnt out on it. So, I'm putting this story on a bit of a hiatus, and I'm not sure when/if I'll bring it back.
> 
> Right now, I'm in the midst of planning a chat fic, as well as a full on story. I might not have anything up for a while (not like I updated much anyways lol) until I at least have something done for one of my stories.


End file.
